I'm a good mother.

3 days in to Kiza's second  10 day business trip this month, I've found myself wondering if this is the life of every single parent, just single fathers, or more likely if it's just me.

Then I read this blog post I spotted on Facebook: The Good Mother and I realized that it's all of us.

My voice isn't so much "a good mother would", but "mommy would"  or wouldn't as the case may be.

-mommy wouldn't have skipped bath night.
-mommy wouldn't have put Dex down without brushing his teeth.
-mommy wouldn't have sifted through the dirty laundry basket to find the least dirty uniform shirt for Delilah to wear to school on Friday (why couldn't it have been cold out, I have dozens of long sleeve shirts).

The author, Lynn Shattuck, is right, fathers don't set the bar nearly as high and society doesn't set if any higher for them.

That doesn't mean we don't feel the pressure, guilt or inadequacy when we make the call or go it alone (even temporarily).  But being a good father isn't tied to our self worth, not at the surface anyway.

I felt sad reading the blog, most of the examples she cited I could relate to, and before finishing the sentence I brushed them off. (Edit: I felt sad for the mothers who can't brush it off, for whatever reason, the way fathers can).

-forgot the monitor? Baby will cry loud enough sooner or later, no biggie.
-forgot diaper bag while out of the house? Outing gets cut short with a stinky ride home, no biggie.
-surfing the net while feeding baby? Hell ya. Try playing Wii (but be careful not to bonk your 5 day old in the forhead with the controller when you have to jump/dive to break trough the ice in the Ice Age game, really glad she had that knitted cap on)
-can't soothe a crying baby? Lets just say I'm glad we lost the fridge in the fire, I was tired of seeing the dent in the stainless steel door where I put my fist because a certain little girl wouldn't stop crying in my arms despite every trick in the book)
-didn't notice the shirt was dirty?  I chose the dirty shirt myself and put it on her. No biggie.

There was another post I read recently, I think it was a comencement speech, and it said something about, how horrible experience will one day make great stories, so when you're in the middle of one, try to imagine telling this story one day and laughing your butt off.

My kids are happy more often than not, they are a marvel to watch, learning and interacting with each other, with their peers and with me. We're doing alright.

But please mommy, come home soon!!!!  ;)

Ms. Shattuck's final remark is important I think (as it describes most of my days of late).

I’m a good mother. Say it with me, even if your kid is wearing a yogurt shirt today like mine is. Say it if you have no idea what’s for dinner. Say it after you raise your voice because your kid won’t get in her freaking car seat. Say it out loud to yourself.

I'm a good mother.